KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:
saleem
who currently lives on a boat.
kidethnic@gmail.com
ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:
100JapaneseThings.com
A collaborative site to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff.
The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.
Twitter
I twitter infrequently. But hope we can stay friends.
The Whiteboard Videos
Music+Whiteboard Markers+Friends=Good ways to spend weekends
SEAWEED BREAKFAST
A weekly column about Japan for Glimpse.org.
The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?
FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland
Tokyo Silence
I'm Oriented
Tilting Towards Kumamoto
Fish Heads and Public Nudity
Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike
And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair
I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings
Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball
Japanese Communists are Cuddly
Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!
I Scare Small Children
It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road
Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.
Typhoons Will Not Stop Me
The Sun Also Sets
Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead
CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.
Watch the Tan Kid Blush
Call for Entries: Name My Kids
The Youth Are Quick and True
Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall
Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch
The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest
Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head
How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band
Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline
Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors
Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour
How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon
Winnie the (drunken) Pooh
The Earth Quakes
Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm
Illiterate at 26
Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face
Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question
Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.
The Young Boxers
Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)
Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band
I watched a wedding in a church, and beside the church a beautiful chicken.
He could not wander, but I wandered…
…until the night, a park with kites:
All in the streets of Manila…
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I sat down to write a list of things I knew about Namibia.
But first, South Africa.
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Spotted in a Manila train station, day-glo as a skating rink.
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I saw the Ube Bar.
And then I saw the Crinkles.
We bought them from a lady.
And they were good.
Donut-like.
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Keelung shine on for always please.
For we love cities that love themselves.
—-
MEANWHILE: Across the harbor…
Our ship waits, never sleeping.
SIDENOTE:
A ship-tour of the world is, of course, a tour of port cities. A tour of noise and scrambled grit. Which I love.
NEXT UP:
Manila, Philipines.
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Yes, I am working on a boat, a circumnavigating boat.
If you are unsure of what a boat looks like, do not worry. For even you will know that our boat is a boat. It is clearly marked as such:
The boat departed from Yokohama, and it is large, too large for my camera:
The ticket takes me from Yokohama, Japan, to Yokohama, Japan, by way of the Southern Hemisphere. Highlights include Namibia, Kenya, Tierra Del Fuego, Easter Island, and a ride along the coast of Antarctica. I am very happy to be a part of all this.
You may be wondering to yourself, “Self, how should I express my emotions upon embarking on such a journey? How should I show my happiness?”
I would like to suggest that you copy the emotions of this man:

Let that be the mood for all which shall be documented here.
NEXT UP: Taiwan.
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The fruits of an afternoon spent arranging furniture and directing my father around the living room below:
… a flyer for Onika’s Art ShO event in NYC.
Incidentally, I am in America for the next while, back to Japan at the end of the month. Next up, if all goes well, a 4-month stint working on a ship…
—— – MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE PACIFIC:
h_a_n_a attempts to make cameras out of cakes, mere blocks from my old house:
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In Chicago, the light hit my brother and shone straight through:
We walked among construction, bright like twin suns.
Bricks towered and blurred and unblurred.
Things fell in unexpected ways.
Little Brother tried to understand it all.
But the sidewalk symbols were no use.

—-
No, seriously, the blue caduceus on the sidewalk in the night? It confused me. But overall, our blue and orange day made me love Chicago plenty. In America for the next month, and then back to Japan and then on to the ship…
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I wrote it because it is true. The proof is at 1:10 (feel free to skip ahead).
All at the Kumamoto Zoo, kindly filmed by manafilm .
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The story is true, it takes place in a Japanese hostess bar, and it starts like this:
The woman who is being paid to flirt with me is very good.
She’s sitting in front of me, batting her eyelashes and playing with the translucent boa that hangs around her neck. She wears a form-fitting, purplish-red dress that looks like a prom outfit from a sultry alternate reality. Her eyelashes reach up and out, exaggerating her blinks and laughs. Those eyelashes can’t be real.
“You’re very handsome,” she says, leaning slightly toward me. I’m not inclined to argue. At that exact moment in time, I certainly feel very handsome.
But there are complications.
You should totally click here to read the rest on Glimpse’s site.
Because it turned into a pretty dang weird night, in which I am either A) kind of neat or B) a total clown.
Up to you.
Photo taken on the streets of Kumamoto while working for Glimpse.org . Show them love for they have paid me to attempt to make wonderful things for you.
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