ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:
100JapaneseThings.com
A collaboration to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff:
We post links to/info on fun Japanese things, and little explanations of the Japanese involved.
The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?
The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.
KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:
saleem
who updates from Japan and sometimes India.
FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland
Tokyo Silence
I'm Oriented
Tilting Towards Kumamoto
Fish Heads and Public Nudity
Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike
And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair
I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings
Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball
Japanese Communists are Cuddly
Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!
I Scare Small Children
It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road
Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.
Typhoons Will Not Stop Me
The Sun Also Sets
Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead
CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.
Watch the Tan Kid Blush
Call for Entries: Name My Kids
The Youth Are Quick and True
Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall
Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch
The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest
Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head
How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band
Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline
Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors
Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour
How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon
Winnie the (drunken) Pooh
The Earth Quakes
Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm
Illiterate at 26
Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face
Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question
Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.
The Young Boxers
Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)
Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band
Outside the hip hop club, twenty-somethings talk loud.
Tall British Friend rolls up on a bicycle with a basket. He converses with acquaintances.
Beside them, a local guy on the tipsy side waves and smiles. He’s with two girls who are friends of friends. I don’t know any of them, but I smile and wave back.
The Tipsy Guy points at Tall British Friend. ‘Woah, he’s got a grandma bike!’ he says (in Japanese). I laugh and agree.
‘Yeah, that guy is cool, right? He always rolls that way,’ I say. ‘He’s just a grandma-style guy.’
Tipsy Guy and Co. laugh and laugh. I roll with it.
‘You should see his car. It’s a grandma-style sports car, super cool. Coolest grandma-style car you’ve ever seen.’
As I’m saying this, I realize it’s not actually that funny. But Tipsy Guy and Co. seem to want more.
I add ‘Grandma-style’ to a few other nouns, and soon we have our arms around each others shoulders. I realize that he’s leaning on a crutch, so I shift my weight to the side. He smiles and laughs and laughs.
‘This dude’s really lively!’ he says to his crew. He turns to me. ‘You’re really super lively! You been out drinking tonight? ’
‘Nothing but bottled yoghurt,’ I say. He laughs. I wasn’t joking, but I laugh too.
‘Ha ha! This guy’s great.’ He turns to the girl next to him. ‘And he seems like he would make really good curry.’
Slight pause, as the internal translator double checks that one.
‘Huh?’
‘I was just saying, you look like the kind of guy who could cook up some delicious curry.’
‘Me?’
‘Ha ha, yeah.’
Pause.
‘Um, well, yeah, I guess my curry’s pretty good,’ I say. Which is true, though sometimes I add too much tumeric.
* * *
To Do List: Yell at Girls From Car Window | VIDEO: Raw Fish Knows What Time It Is
— andy 839 days ago #
— Mel 839 days ago #
— Dan 839 days ago #
— andy 838 days ago #
I also believe though that Saleem and his family have been the victims of racism in the past. My wife (then girlfriend) lived with his sister during college and the university she attended sent some paper work to Saleem’s sister and under race they had categorized her as “Mexican” – Saleem, you can’t “cook up some delicious”...nachos can you?
— Michael 838 days ago #
— Brooke 838 days ago #
For more delicious recipes see http://mattfischer.com/ramen/
surprisingly no relation
— Kevin 837 days ago #
— Kevin 837 days ago #
http://www.frontpagemag.com/index.asp
Yes, I’m hijacking this blog
— Kevin 837 days ago #
— Byzek 835 days ago #
— maggie 835 days ago #
Stereotyping is quite funny.
— andy 832 days ago #
— Cory 830 days ago #
— Dan 830 days ago #
CORY: That’s the hottest nickname ever.
— saleem 830 days ago #