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saleem
who is currently moving around East Asia.
kidethnic@gmail.com
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Halfie McSpicySkin and the Gastronomical Predictor · 20 September 06
Now back in Japan...Outside the hip hop club, twenty-somethings talk loud.
Tall British Friend rolls up on a bicycle with a basket. He converses with acquaintances.
Beside them, a local guy on the tipsy side waves and smiles. He’s with two girls who are friends of friends. I don’t know any of them, but I smile and wave back.
The Tipsy Guy points at Tall British Friend. ‘Woah, he’s got a grandma bike!’ he says (in Japanese). I laugh and agree.
‘Yeah, that guy is cool, right? He always rolls that way,’ I say. ‘He’s just a grandma-style guy.’
Tipsy Guy and Co. laugh and laugh. I roll with it.
‘You should see his car. It’s a grandma-style sports car, super cool. Coolest grandma-style car you’ve ever seen.’
As I’m saying this, I realize it’s not actually that funny. But Tipsy Guy and Co. seem to want more.
I add ‘Grandma-style’ to a few other nouns, and soon we have our arms around each others shoulders. I realize that he’s leaning on a crutch, so I shift my weight to the side. He smiles and laughs and laughs.
‘This dude’s really lively!’ he says to his crew. He turns to me. ‘You’re really super lively! You been out drinking tonight? ’
‘Nothing but bottled yoghurt,’ I say. He laughs. I wasn’t joking, but I laugh too.
‘Ha ha! This guy’s great.’ He turns to the girl next to him. ‘And he seems like he would make really good curry.’
Slight pause, as the internal translator double checks that one.
‘Huh?’
‘I was just saying, you look like the kind of guy who could cook up some delicious curry.’
‘Me?’
‘Ha ha, yeah.’
Pause.
‘Um, well, yeah, I guess my curry’s pretty good,’ I say. Which is true, though sometimes I add too much tumeric.
* * *
To Do List: Yell at Girls From Car Window | VIDEO: Raw Fish Knows What Time It Is
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