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The Judgemental Man Who Stared As We Slept · 13 December 06

Christmas Traditions True or False Question #9:

Parents in America tell their children they will get coal in their stockings if they misbehave.

I explained the meaning of ‘coal’ and ‘misbehave’, and re-worded the sentence into simpler English. The children laughed.

For it was ridiculous.

False, they declared.

“Well,” I said, “it’s often true, actually. My mom definitely told me that at least once.”

One never knows what will suddenly engage a not-so-attentive class.

“In America we kind of tell kids that Santa Claus watches you all the time. He keeps notes, and always knows if you do a bad thing.”

One kid turned to another, “Is he talking about Santa-san?’

“Yeah,” I said. “We even have a song about it.”

I sang:

He sees you when you’re sleeping.
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good…

The Japanese co-teacher and I explained the lyrics.

The kids stared. One mumbled commentary to a neighbour.

“Yeah,” I said. ‘I guess it is kind of scary.”
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BONUS FACT: The word game ‘Hangman’? Also terrifying.

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  1. As long as Santa doesn’t touch the kids, it’s ok.
    — andy    1363 days ago    #

  2. I got hit on by a Santa yesterday in the elevator of my office building. Creepy, especially since he actually said “I bet you never thought Santa would hit on you, did you?”

    Um no, I didn’t…
    — maggie    1361 days ago    #

  3. Maggie, wait, you got to explain that one a little more.
    Was ‘I bet you never thought Santa would hit on you, did you?’ his OPENER? If so, that’s kind of awesome.
    From the safe distance of the internet, at least.
    — saleem    1360 days ago    #

  4. Alas, this Santa was not nearly so brilliant. It was his closer. A last-ditch effort at humor, maybe?
    — maggie    1358 days ago    #

  5. All the same, you gotta be impressed by the guy’s gumption, even in the face of such deep-rooted emotional associations from childhood that people have about the jolly fat guy.

    Was this guy jolly and/or fat?
    — Byzek    1357 days ago    #

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