KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:
saleem
who currently lives on a boat.
kidethnic@gmail.com
ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:
The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.
SEAWEED BREAKFAST
A weekly column about Japan for Glimpse.org.
The Whiteboard Videos
Music+Whiteboard Markers+Friends=Good ways to spend weekends
100JapaneseThings.com
A collaborative site to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff.
Twitter
I twitter infrequently. But hope we can stay friends.
The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?
FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland
Tokyo Silence
I'm Oriented
Tilting Towards Kumamoto
Fish Heads and Public Nudity
Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike
And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair
I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings
Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball
Japanese Communists are Cuddly
Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!
I Scare Small Children
It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road
Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.
Typhoons Will Not Stop Me
The Sun Also Sets
Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead
CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.
Watch the Tan Kid Blush
Call for Entries: Name My Kids
The Youth Are Quick and True
Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall
Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch
The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest
Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head
How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band
Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline
Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors
Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour
How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon
Winnie the (drunken) Pooh
The Earth Quakes
Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm
Illiterate at 26
Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face
Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question
Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.
The Young Boxers
Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)
Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band
The students awaited the next question.
I pointed to my knee. ‘What’s this?’ I asked.
‘Log,’ said the first.
‘Kill,’ said the second.
They were not joking, and they were not stupid (explanation below).
A friend of mine is leaving his school office. He wishes to say, ‘Shitsurei-shimasu’.
Instead he bows deeply and announces, ‘Shamisen.’
—-
If you don’t speak Japanese, Story 2’s not that amusing. Both words start with ‘Sh’ and have ‘m’s in the middle, an easy mistake to make, right?
Slightly more amusing if you know the meaning, in which case it reads like this:
A friend of mine is leaving his school office. He wishes to say, ‘I’m excusing myself, see you later’.
Instead he bows deeply and announces, ‘Three-string Japanese classical banjo.’
Now, when I tell my Japanese friends the second story, they laugh like crazy. When I tell my Japanese friends the FIRST, and, to me, funnier story, they find it only mildly amusing. Nobody busts out laughing.
To them, the friend in Story 2 is making a hilariously absurd mistake.
The students in Story 1 are merely making minor errors:
‘Log’: The lady thought I was trying to get them to say “leg”, obviously. She just got a vowel wrong.
‘Kill’ and ‘Knee’ both start with ‘K’, the student just blurted out the wrong ‘K’ word.
And when I think of it that way, they’re right, of course.
—-
FROM WHICH WE MIGHT CONCLUDE:
1) What seems like a minor pronunciation error to a non-native speaker can be a comical and huge distinction to a native-speaker. In any language.
2) Writing subtitles for pun-filled foreign comedies must be dang near impossible.
* * *
A Brief Prophecy Concerning Watermelon Hats | PHOTO: The Hundred Legs that Want You Dead, PLUS: The Leaf That Would Not Fall
That is the most GLORIOUS dictionary I’ve ever seen! Makes me want to STUDY!…in cursive, of course(-) Where did come across such a neat find?
Do you know the word for elbow in Japanese? I remember I would always get elbow, knee and rainbow mixed up.
Elbow=Hiji
Knee=Hiza
Rainbow=Niji
The “Ni” in Rainbow always made me think “Knee”, even thought the “ji” part is actually part of Elbow, not Knee.
— jason 856 days ago #
Yeah, I love that dictionary. It belongs to my neighbor.
I have a hard time remembering ‘hiji’ because I never talk about elbows. People sometimes say their knees hurt, but they don’t say a dang thing about elbows ever.
— saleem 855 days ago #
Probably because tennis isn’t exactly the national sport of Japan.
In fact, have you ever seen anyone playing tennis in Japan?
— Byzek 854 days ago #
Great photo Saleem!
— Kevin 852 days ago #
Thanks, Kevin.
BYZEK: Man, I’ve seen my dad playing Nintendo Wii Tennis in Japan. It looks like this:
Le Wii Tenis con Padre (click here for photo)
— saleem 848 days ago #
Wii has never looked as exciting. (Notice my benign comment is really a means to see if kidethnic is still mad at me and continues to deny me commenting privileges.)
— Maggie 848 days ago #
Ah, thanks for the benign comment. Since it will neither harm nor benefit me, I won’t have it removed. Over time it will be as if kidethnic.com was born that way.
— saleem 847 days ago #
kidethnic? Mad? Really?
— Byzek 843 days ago #
Ah, Maggie was referring to the technological machinations that make words appear on kidethnic.com , not the narrator of the site.
She was unable to comment for a long while, for reasons unknown.
Unfortunately, I think the comments engine on this site gives problems to several people, but doesn’t seem to be consistent in who or when…
Sorry about that, all. I’ll try and figure it out…
— saleem 843 days ago #