Kid Ethnic: 103 Days At Sea: It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road · 24 August 04

Abby Road

Witnessed from the bicycle on a recent Sunday afternoon:

Every fifteen seconds or so, the tall lady in blue would blow a rhythm on a little referee’s whistle. This action caused the pink-suited children to shout phrases in unison.

I did not know why.

I asked around, and was told that a festival day was being observed by local children.

When little aspects of life here in Cuteworld confuse me, I often relax my mind by imagining parallel scenarios for a fictional opposite of myself.

(I know this is getting weird, but stay with me).

This Imaginary Anti-Saleem would have recently begun full-time employment in America but would have arrived in the U.S. stupidly ignorant of local language or customs.

(It’s hard to imagine someone arriving in America as ignorantly as I arrived in Japan. Please indulge my wacky fantasy world for a few sentences more.)

Imaginary Anti-Saleem might have experienced a situation like this on a Sunday afternoon:

IMAGINARY ANTI-SALEEM: Um, holy crap guys, what the hell’s going on here?

SOME LOCAL AMERICAN DUDE: Uh, what do you mean.

IAS: There are frighteningly gigantic fuzzy bunnies distributing rations to children in the mall food court.

SLAD: Um, Imaginary Anti-Saleem, dude, relax. It’s called Easter.

IAS: Okay, sure. ‘Eeee-stur’. Giant rabbits and increased church attendance. Cool, yo. I can roll with that.

Somehow, thinking thinking about Imaginary Anti-Saleem makes me feel better about my silly lack of common sense here.

(See? It all ended rationally, right? See how thinking of Imaginary Anti-Saleem makes the real me seem like I’m not in that abnormal a situation? A little bit? Maybe?)

COMING NEXT POST: A return to coherence. I promise.

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Dude. You made me laugh. I had to tell the whole entire office your little story and of course they all now think that you are wierd. hehehe. this is inspiring though. May be I’ll do the same thing for Albania, a website! Is it difficult to set up? – Ela.
— Ela 2026 days ago #
When my hunny was in India she awoke one morning to find that all the domestic animals, the cows, goats, chickens, dogs, etc, had been painted blue. It was to observe “some festival” was all the locals would tell her. You’re exactly right, all holidays are freaky when you don’t know the context.
— Brant 1996 days ago #
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— fasd 1579 days ago #

I Scare Small Children | Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.