KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:
saleem
who currently lives on a boat.
kidethnic@gmail.com
ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:
100JapaneseThings.com
A collaborative site to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff.
SEAWEED BREAKFAST
A weekly column about Japan for Glimpse.org.
The Whiteboard Videos
Music+Whiteboard Markers+Friends=Good ways to spend weekends
Twitter
I twitter infrequently. But hope we can stay friends.
The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.
The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?
FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland
Tokyo Silence
I'm Oriented
Tilting Towards Kumamoto
Fish Heads and Public Nudity
Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike
And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair
I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings
Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball
Japanese Communists are Cuddly
Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!
I Scare Small Children
It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road
Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.
Typhoons Will Not Stop Me
The Sun Also Sets
Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead
CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.
Watch the Tan Kid Blush
Call for Entries: Name My Kids
The Youth Are Quick and True
Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall
Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch
The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest
Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head
How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band
Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline
Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors
Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour
How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon
Winnie the (drunken) Pooh
The Earth Quakes
Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm
Illiterate at 26
Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face
Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question
Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.
The Young Boxers
Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)
Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

Witnessed from the bicycle on a recent Sunday afternoon:
Every fifteen seconds or so, the tall lady in blue would blow a rhythm on a little referee’s whistle. This action caused the pink-suited children to shout phrases in unison.
I did not know why.
I asked around, and was told that a festival day was being observed by local children.
When little aspects of life here in Cuteworld confuse me, I often relax my mind by imagining parallel scenarios for a fictional opposite of myself.
(I know this is getting weird, but stay with me).
This Imaginary Anti-Saleem would have recently begun full-time employment in America but would have arrived in the U.S. stupidly ignorant of local language or customs.
(It’s hard to imagine someone arriving in America as ignorantly as I arrived in Japan. Please indulge my wacky fantasy world for a few sentences more.)
Imaginary Anti-Saleem might have experienced a situation like this on a Sunday afternoon:
IMAGINARY ANTI-SALEEM: Um, holy crap guys, what the hell’s going on here?
SOME LOCAL AMERICAN DUDE: Uh, what do you mean.
IAS: There are frighteningly gigantic fuzzy bunnies distributing rations to children in the mall food court.
SLAD: Um, Imaginary Anti-Saleem, dude, relax. It’s called Easter.
IAS: Okay, sure. ‘Eeee-stur’. Giant rabbits and increased church attendance. Cool, yo. I can roll with that.
Somehow, thinking thinking about Imaginary Anti-Saleem makes me feel better about my silly lack of common sense here.
(See? It all ended rationally, right? See how thinking of Imaginary Anti-Saleem makes the real me seem like I’m not in that abnormal a situation? A little bit? Maybe?)
COMING NEXT POST: A return to coherence. I promise.
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I Scare Small Children | Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.
— Ela 2026 days ago #
— Brant 1996 days ago #
— fasd 1579 days ago #