KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:
saleem
who is currently moving around East Asia.
kidethnic@gmail.com
ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:
100JapaneseThings
A collaborative site to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff.
The Whiteboard Videos
Music+Whiteboard Markers+Friends=Good ways to spend weekends
SEAWEED BREAKFAST
A weekly column about Japan that I wrote for Glimpse.org.
Twitter
I twitter infrequently. But hope we can stay friends.
The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you <em>need</em> a song about alpacas, don’t you?
The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.
An Open Letter From The Children, RE: Vegetable Chocolate · 25 May 09
Dear Adults of the World,
You must answer for this thing:
It is understood that we are in struggle.
That you are as determined to make us eat our vegetables as we are determined to shove them under our napkins.
Or feed them to our pet rabbits.
Such is our nature, and the more intelligent among us understand that it is for the best.
Given a button that would wipe all adults from the face of the earth, we would not push this button. In some strange and twisted way, we need you as much as you need us.
We are in, a manner, of speaking, of the same kind. The same beings, merely temporally displaced.
We understand that we are doomed to become you.
And still we must fight.
—-
Among the most vicious of our confrontations have concerned when and in what quantities we might eat chocolate. It is perhaps the only one of our dietary desires that approaches our wish to cease ingesting vegetables.
And we are happy to engage in screaming matches on either topic.
But you, our gigantic, freakish, arch-enemies, you must understand that we can’t make things.
We can perhaps sneak chocolate, we might, in dire circumstances, steal chocolate. But the MAKING of chocolate, this is against our nature. We have not the resources.
Traditionally, the battle has been over resource allocation.
We did not expect from you, this asymmetrical warfare, this burning and pillaging of our sustenance before it has reached our eyes, much less melted in our mouths and hands.
This is the stuff of nightmares: the mythical razor in our holiday candy, the organ thief in the night, the rats fried among chicken.
The vegetables in our chocolate.
—-
While we do not wish to threaten, we would like to remind you that we, especially in the developing nations, decidedly outnumber you.
We have not resorted to such techniques as mass coordinated biting, which, due to new technologies, those at the upper-bound of our designation (but not yet in those guerilla tween years), have the technological know-how to organize.
And we do not wish to resort to such tactics.
We are just saying.
We are hereby officially asking you to cease these tactics. If we must fight, and we are willing to allow that we must, let us fight clean.
Your future,
The Children
—-
Over the top, admittedly. But I saw this vegetable chocolate in the discount rack (surprising?) at the local convenience store and had to buy it. The taste was not a sensation that a child would enjoy.
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The 'L' / 'R' Glitch That Greatly Improved Things | PHOTO: My Classy Friend, Please Bring No Clouds, PLUS: A Video Experiment
— Mel 427 days ago #
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