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100JapaneseThings.com
A collaboration to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff: We post links to/info on fun Japanese things, and little explanations of the Japanese involved.

The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?

The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.

KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:

saleem
who updates from Japan and sometimes India.

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FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland

Tokyo Silence

I'm Oriented

Tilting Towards Kumamoto

Fish Heads and Public Nudity

Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike

And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair

I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings

Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball

Japanese Communists are Cuddly

Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!

I Scare Small Children

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.

Typhoons Will Not Stop Me

The Sun Also Sets

Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead

CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.

Watch the Tan Kid Blush

Call for Entries: Name My Kids

The Youth Are Quick and True

Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall

Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch

The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest

Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head

How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline

Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors

Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour

How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon

Winnie the (drunken) Pooh

The Earth Quakes

Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm

Illiterate at 26

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face

Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question

Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.

The Young Boxers

Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)

Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity. · 27 August 04

I stand before you humbled.

Below you will find an excerpt from the English journal of a future student of mine. I have edited it for spelling and hypothesized (in parentheses) as to some of the words necessary to make complete sentences.

But the core awesomeness is purely the work of the student.

The other day a bee made a bee house on my veranda on second floor. I unconcernedly kicked (it, because I) can’t let a thing alone. Wooden container. Fucking many bees attacked me!! If other man was attacked (in such manner) he (would have) died!

After battle, I killed a bee for supper.
See you baby.

What kind of insane bad-ass claims (apropos of nothing) in a purportedly non-fiction second-language journal to have “unconcernedly” initiated a man vs. nature battle that would have killed “other man”? And then claims to have eaten a fresh opponent for supper? And then inexplicably calls his reader “baby”?

How can I teach one who is already so great?

I have not yet met the amazing child who wrote this. But I am 99.73% confident that after befriending him my life will never again be the same.

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  1. Everyone in my office is amused! :)
    — Ela    1359 days ago    #

  2. This is quite possibly the most brilliant Zen koan I’ve ever read. Forget one hand clapping – “I unconcernedly kicked (it, because I) can’t let a thing alone.”

    The self awareness, the unattachment to worldly things – this kid is the Buddha, Sartre and a little west coast gansta rap rolled into one.

    Find him, for he is the One.
    — Jim Ray    1359 days ago    #

  3. Jim’s right. Ask him who killed Pac?
    — joeyb    1353 days ago    #

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    — Tom    797 days ago    #

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