Kid Ethnic: Mixed-Race Adventures in Japan: Call for Entries: Name My Kids

Call for Entries: Name My Kids · 14 September 04

UPDATE: These are hot. Keep ‘em coming.

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One of the schools I work at is a vocational school with 1,200 kids. That s a lot of tricky Japanese names to remember.

So, I’ve been giving my kids really goofy American names. Easy to remember for me, fun for them.

Right now, my favorite kids are named ‘George Bush’ and ‘Chicken’. I mean, ‘Chicken’? Come on, that s a dope name.

I also have a couple of Bob Marleys that I like, too. For some reason, though, ‘Tommy’ always draws the biggest laughs.

But there’s still at least one big group of kids that does not have names.

And here’s where you get a once in a lifetime chance: Name a Japanese kid.

For less than the price of a cup of coffee a day (free!), I ll do my best to name a kid whatever the coolest names you guys suggest are. At the end of the month, I ll post some pictures of kids and the names you have given them.

Yes, you ll get to see a picture of Chicken.

Just click ‘Comment’ below to start. Preview it, then press Submit. Making a difference is just that easy.

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Seven. (sorry, had to)
Booger.
Soup.
Godzilla. (it’s a must)
50.
— Jason Cooper 1336 days ago #
Does it freak anyone else out that Coop wants to give these poor kids numbers instead of names? And don’t you dare pull the “they all look the same to me” garbage, Coop, that ain’t right.

But if Godzilla works, can Mothra be far behind? Or, for that matter, Mr. Roboto or Daniel-san?

How ‘bout:
Paris Hilton (ha!)
Freddie Jackson
Kenny (as in “Ohmygodtheykilledkenny!”)
TIMMY! (who doesn’t love a little South Park?)
?uestlove
The artist formerly known as Prince
Miles Davis
— Jim Ray 1336 days ago #
How about:
Weaselteats
Dingo
Skippy
Jesus Rodrigues
Beckham (bet everybody wants this one)
Bryce Flea
— Alv 1336 days ago #
Lets try these:
Soda
Cash Money
Pete (from the best Nickelodean show ever Pete & Pete)
Cosmo Kramer
Lil’ ___ (just fill in that blank with any name and they become an instant gangsta)
— Chris Moore 1335 days ago #
I would be so tempted to give them good Japanese names like Pikachu, or Digimon.

But if I fought that temptation, I would name them things like:
Big Pun or 2pac, though I bet they’d be familiar with the world-wide sindicated “Fresh Prince”

I guess they’d probably want to be named after people they know, right?
What about Scooby, J-Lo or Shaq Daddy, depending of course on the kid’s personality and appearance.
— Dan 1335 days ago #
* Bone Collector (terrible movie)
* Soulscreamer
* Fastfood (they love it, no?)
* Gling Glo (old Bjork’s band)
* So Broken
— Krzysztof 1335 days ago #
How about:

Pookie
Pile o’ nice
Bushwhacker
Jujube
Lolita
— Monica 1335 days ago #
name them after typefaces:
bodoni
futura
caslon
helvetica
or just weird fonts like:
baby teeth
— amy 1334 days ago #
I like the movie character names:
Tyler Durden
Neo
Trinity
Jonathon Moxon
Mitch Martin
Frank “The Tank” Ricard
etc….
— Keith 1334 days ago #
Show the ladies some love with stripper names:

Kandi/Candi/Kandy
Divinity
Glitter
Infinity
Pheonix
Amber
Mocca
Leather
Krystal
Whisper
— joeyb 1334 days ago #
I mean, dang, you guys are good at this. Keep ‘em coming, I’m just going to put together a big handout with tons of names on it and see which ones stick.

Your friend,
— saleem 1334 days ago #
saleem, bro, i couldn’t resist the entertainment this gave me during a long boring lecture on the thyroid.
it seems like the kids like random nouns…the possibilities are endless…
Q-tip
duck
bunny
robpert
boo
potato
homestar
frodo
mercedes and other car names are pretty fly too.
(it was hard for me to not think of internal organs…dang med school)
— mercedes 1334 days ago #
Shock-n-Awe
— Laura 1334 days ago #
Dude, if you don’t name one of your kids “Tyler Durden” you have wasted your time here.

“I am Tyler’s lack of cultural sensitivity.”
— Jim Ray 1334 days ago #
how about-
Superfly
the hulk
Jim Ray
and uh…..
MARIO
— DMAC 1333 days ago #
Mr. Mistopheleese
— z 1333 days ago #
I met your parents just before they left on their cruise. Majid made the best homemade picante sauce ever…so in honor of that

Salsa

And since Seven, Soda and Cosmo Kramer made this list, how about

Bosco
Deloris
Bubble Boy
Festivas
Jr. Mint
Maestro
and of course—Newman
— eje 1333 days ago #
In keeping with the latest hollywood trends how about some comic-book superhero names.

Hulk,
Wonderwoman,
Captain America,
Spiderman,
She Hulk,
Hellboy,
The Green Lantern,
AquaMan,
Superman,
Batman,
Hairbutt the hippo

Or if they are, like, evil kids you can always name them after supervillans….
— Simon 1333 days ago #
How about
Simpson
Karl Marx
Lenin
Stalin

Easy to guess where I am from right? :)
— Ela 1333 days ago #
Billy Bob
Hill Billy
Ma
Pa
Cousin Francine?

Knew I should’ve watched the Beverley Hillbillies the last time it was on. Would’ve had loads of names for ya.
— Glen 1175 days ago #
HOMER..hehe thats the best name ^_
— corina 1008 days ago #
That is a lot of students! The names are tricky, too! Aren’t they offended by the nicknames you give them? How about naming one Godzy?
— Online Wong PoKér Hu 901 days ago #

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