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Call for Entries: Name My Kids · 14 September 04

UPDATE: These are hot. Keep ‘em coming.

***

One of the schools I work at is a vocational school with 1,200 kids. That s a lot of tricky Japanese names to remember.

So, I’ve been giving my kids really goofy American names. Easy to remember for me, fun for them.

Right now, my favorite kids are named ‘George Bush’ and ‘Chicken’. I mean, ‘Chicken’? Come on, that s a dope name.

I also have a couple of Bob Marleys that I like, too. For some reason, though, ‘Tommy’ always draws the biggest laughs.

But there’s still at least one big group of kids that does not have names.

And here’s where you get a once in a lifetime chance: Name a Japanese kid.

For less than the price of a cup of coffee a day (free!), I ll do my best to name a kid whatever the coolest names you guys suggest are. At the end of the month, I ll post some pictures of kids and the names you have given them.

Yes, you ll get to see a picture of Chicken.

Just click ‘Comment’ below to start. Preview it, then press Submit. Making a difference is just that easy.

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  1. Seven. (sorry, had to)
    Booger.
    Soup.
    Godzilla. (it’s a must)
    50.
    — Jason Cooper    2700 days ago    #

  2. Does it freak anyone else out that Coop wants to give these poor kids numbers instead of names? And don’t you dare pull the “they all look the same to me” garbage, Coop, that ain’t right.

    But if Godzilla works, can Mothra be far behind? Or, for that matter, Mr. Roboto or Daniel-san?

    How ‘bout:
    Paris Hilton (ha!)
    Freddie Jackson
    Kenny (as in “Ohmygodtheykilledkenny!”)
    TIMMY! (who doesn’t love a little South Park?)
    ?uestlove
    The artist formerly known as Prince
    Miles Davis
    — Jim Ray    2700 days ago    #

  3. How about:
    Weaselteats
    Dingo
    Skippy
    Jesus Rodrigues
    Beckham (bet everybody wants this one)
    Bryce Flea
    — Alv    2700 days ago    #

  4. Lets try these:
    Soda
    Cash Money
    Pete (from the best Nickelodean show ever Pete & Pete)
    Cosmo Kramer
    Lil’ ___ (just fill in that blank with any name and they become an instant gangsta)
    — Chris Moore    2699 days ago    #

  5. I would be so tempted to give them good Japanese names like Pikachu, or Digimon.

    But if I fought that temptation, I would name them things like:
    Big Pun or 2pac, though I bet they’d be familiar with the world-wide sindicated “Fresh Prince”

    I guess they’d probably want to be named after people they know, right?
    What about Scooby, J-Lo or Shaq Daddy, depending of course on the kid’s personality and appearance.
    — Dan    2699 days ago    #

  6. * Bone Collector (terrible movie)
    * Soulscreamer
    * Fastfood (they love it, no?)
    * Gling Glo (old Bjork’s band)
    * So Broken
    — Krzysztof    2699 days ago    #

  7. How about:

    Pookie
    Pile o’ nice
    Bushwhacker
    Jujube
    Lolita
    — Monica    2699 days ago    #

  8. name them after typefaces:
    bodoni
    futura
    caslon
    helvetica
    or just weird fonts like:
    baby teeth
    — amy    2698 days ago    #

  9. I like the movie character names:
    Tyler Durden
    Neo
    Trinity
    Jonathon Moxon
    Mitch Martin
    Frank “The Tank” Ricard
    etc….
    — Keith    2698 days ago    #

  10. Show the ladies some love with stripper names:

    Kandi/Candi/Kandy
    Divinity
    Glitter
    Infinity
    Pheonix
    Amber
    Mocca
    Leather
    Krystal
    Whisper
    — joeyb    2698 days ago    #

  11. I mean, dang, you guys are good at this. Keep ‘em coming, I’m just going to put together a big handout with tons of names on it and see which ones stick.

    Your friend,
    — saleem    2698 days ago    #

  12. saleem, bro, i couldn’t resist the entertainment this gave me during a long boring lecture on the thyroid.
    it seems like the kids like random nouns…the possibilities are endless…
    Q-tip
    duck
    bunny
    robpert
    boo
    potato
    homestar
    frodo
    mercedes and other car names are pretty fly too.
    (it was hard for me to not think of internal organs…dang med school)
    — mercedes    2698 days ago    #

  13. Shock-n-Awe
    — Laura    2698 days ago    #

  14. Dude, if you don’t name one of your kids “Tyler Durden” you have wasted your time here.

    “I am Tyler’s lack of cultural sensitivity.”
    — Jim Ray    2698 days ago    #

  15. how about-
    Superfly
    the hulk
    Jim Ray
    and uh…..
    MARIO
    — DMAC    2697 days ago    #

  16. Mr. Mistopheleese
    — z    2697 days ago    #

  17. I met your parents just before they left on their cruise. Majid made the best homemade picante sauce ever…so in honor of that

    Salsa

    And since Seven, Soda and Cosmo Kramer made this list, how about

    Bosco
    Deloris
    Bubble Boy
    Festivas
    Jr. Mint
    Maestro
    and of course—Newman
    — eje    2697 days ago    #

  18. In keeping with the latest hollywood trends how about some comic-book superhero names.

    Hulk,
    Wonderwoman,
    Captain America,
    Spiderman,
    She Hulk,
    Hellboy,
    The Green Lantern,
    AquaMan,
    Superman,
    Batman,
    Hairbutt the hippo

    Or if they are, like, evil kids you can always name them after supervillans….
    — Simon    2697 days ago    #

  19. How about
    Simpson
    Karl Marx
    Lenin
    Stalin

    Easy to guess where I am from right? :)
    — Ela    2697 days ago    #

  20. Billy Bob
    Hill Billy
    Ma
    Pa
    Cousin Francine?

    Knew I should’ve watched the Beverley Hillbillies the last time it was on. Would’ve had loads of names for ya.
    — Glen    2539 days ago    #

  21. HOMER..hehe thats the best name _
    — corina    2372 days ago    #

  22. That is a lot of students! The names are tricky, too! Aren’t they offended by the nicknames you give them? How about naming one Godzy?
    — Online Wong PoKér Hu    2265 days ago    #

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