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Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face · 19 November 04

Japanese High School Teacher Emeregency Tactic #397 :
Always have absurd photos from home ready to flip out any time they’re drifting. Brings ‘em back every time.

For example:

A man with no tooth and my sister.
Me and a homeboy with no tooth.

See the funny? It’s obvious, right?

Homeboy has no freaking front tooth. He’s smiling and feeling good.

My sister (top) is on the phone with a Phone-a-Nurse of Williamsburg, VA (really), explaining to her that, no, we really don’t have any milk to preserve the tooth that fell out of Homeboy’s head, and, no, we don’t have anything dairy at all, because we’re all lactose intolerant. Yes, ma’am, every last one of us.

(I’m leaving Homeboy’s identifying details out, so potential employers/dates don’t Google him and prematurely disregard my pal as a prospective employee/lover due to his one-time lack of tooth.)

These pictures kill me. But when I show them to a class here, you hear no laughter.

“Ooooooooooooooooooooooh,” say all the girls in the class. “Chest! Chest!”

I look at them, confused.

“Hair, hair!” they say.

Body hair. It ain’t that common here.

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  1. I am definitely going to Japan (cue evil grin)
    — Camilo    2633 days ago    #

  2. Its probably cause homeboy looks like his pops is a dentist compared to your average japanese grill, which can only be desribed as “busted”
    — another busted grill    2633 days ago    #

  3. my twin brother once hit himself in the face with a stick at the bus stop in 6th grade and knocked his front tooth out. is that what happened to that guy? blood on your face is so hard core.
    — mercedes    2630 days ago    #

  4. I am that guy. The tooth came out courtesy of a car bumper, or so I’m told. In what must have been a hall of fame graceful move, I tripped trying to kick something on the sidewalk and fell into a parked car. The tooth was replaced and the smile is not as hideous anymore.
    — toofless    2628 days ago    #

  5. great pics of the OG. heard about the site on new years in NYC. pretty awesome. i’d like another postcard about birds shitting on your head. good luck with the pilgrammiging. i sense a book in your future. — murph
    — bmurphy    2569 days ago    #

  6. Almost as funny as my mate Stretch, 6’6”, tall. Got wasted in a remote part of England, passed out and fell flat on his face knocking out both front teeth! When he came to he thought he’d been beaten up. A month later after he’d had false teeth painfully implanted he proceeded to get wasted again. He this time rode his bicycle into a lamp post and knocked the teeth out again!
    — Glen    2501 days ago    #

  7. That is one hell of a neeky guy
    — Sara    2486 days ago    #

  8. Dear Sara,

    What does neeky mean? Is it like, ‘totally sexy’ or something?
    — saleem    2483 days ago    #

  9. youisahoe
    — tiff    2242 days ago    #

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