ALSO BY KID ETHNIC:

100JapaneseThings.com
A collaboration to help folks (and each other) find Japanese stuff: We post links to/info on fun Japanese things, and little explanations of the Japanese involved.

The Alpaca Song
I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?

The Annual Kid Ethnic Valentine
Because I love you so much.

KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:

saleem
who updates from Japan and sometimes India.

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FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland

Tokyo Silence

I'm Oriented

Tilting Towards Kumamoto

Fish Heads and Public Nudity

Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike

And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair

I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings

Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball

Japanese Communists are Cuddly

Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!

I Scare Small Children

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.

Typhoons Will Not Stop Me

The Sun Also Sets

Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead

CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.

Watch the Tan Kid Blush

Call for Entries: Name My Kids

The Youth Are Quick and True

Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall

Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch

The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest

Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head

How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline

Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors

Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour

How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon

Winnie the (drunken) Pooh

The Earth Quakes

Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm

Illiterate at 26

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face

Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question

Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.

The Young Boxers

Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)

Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

Big Toe in the Cranberry · 25 November 04

In honor of the day: I present the following mixed-race myth, recently read it at Caleb’s. Sajid and Yasmin are my siblings. Enjoy.

Sajid’s eyes focus on a point outside the window.

“Praise Allah!” he yells.
“Here comes
the Flying Tiger
Fist of Judo Death.”

And I see him, too.
It’s Bruce muthafuckin’ Lee
Crashing through our lake-view window
and landing on the dining-room table.

Left-foot in the stuffing
Right foot on the cranberry sauce.

We do not move.

He points a mighty left-chop and screams
“Asians to the left!”
Grandma and dad go running.
He swings a mighty axe kick in the opposite direction.
“Whites to the right!”
And Grandpa’s old white ghost flies hard right.

(not wanting to disturb things,
my mother slips, slips away)

Sajid, Yasmin and I sit still.
Who can inform the ancient master
that we cannot comply?
Only thin sister will break
the news.
“But Bruce,” she wails. “We’re mixed race!”

Bruce is infuriated
He drops into a low squat and swings his fist deep into the bowels
of my grandmother’s turkey.
His face contorts.
His world-renowned two inch punch
unleashes immeasurable pain
into the pumpkin pie filling.

Sajid weeps with joy.

With the strength of 7 dragons
Bruce furrows his brow.
He can find no solution!

Verily was it all reflected
in the Feng Shui-approved Merry Mirror of the Smiling Buddha
Dining Display Case.

20% off at Ikea.

| Permanent link to this

* * *

1. Well, what can I say? IKEA rocks pretty hard.
   
   As does the Valentines’ Day Card. If it weren’t free, but instead was for sale on Ebay, I’d so totally buy it.
   — sianish    1267 days ago    #

2. the masses are too stunned to comment. sometimes you just gotta suppress that stuff, bro.
   — Poop on a Loop    1261 days ago    #

3. I remember this poem. I still love it.
   — maggie    1260 days ago    #

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face | Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question