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Halfie's Red Pen Draws Dog Blood · 21 February 05

My Japanese students write wonderfully cute test essays. This one arrived while I was covering a pile of fresh tests in red ink.

This dog’s picture is an important picture. This dog is my family. Her name is Jenni [1] . Jenni is (a) cute dog.

Not a bad start.

Sometimes my mother Jenni and I went to sea by car.

Out came the red pen.

Everyday I was very happy.

Changing tenses in the middle of a passage… a common second language mistake. But one I cannot allow to stand.

The pen’s turn to leak it’s crimson fury.

I mark the paper up, changing every verb to the present tense. All in the name of education. I arrive at the end…

But she was died. I’m very sad. Cry with sad.

And I realize this is not a normal grammar situation. In her memory the pet “is”, in reality it “was”...

Her dog is dead, and my pen just bled all over her little eulogy.

The essay is lovely; It is the grader that is grotesque.

They should really put erasers on these things.

[1] dogname changed to protect, um, I dunno. It just seemed weird to actually put the dead dog’s name on the web.

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  1. It is OK. We all learn to write by throwing our soul onto the page, and then having somebody else read it.
    Even if that somebody has a penchant for red decorations.
    — Camilo    2538 days ago    #

  2. hahaha! Revenge of the second-language-english speaker!!!
    — Oh Ho0o!    2536 days ago    #

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