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FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland

Tokyo Silence

I'm Oriented

Tilting Towards Kumamoto

Fish Heads and Public Nudity

Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike

And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair

I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings

Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball

Japanese Communists are Cuddly

Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!

I Scare Small Children

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.

Typhoons Will Not Stop Me

The Sun Also Sets

Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead

CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.

Watch the Tan Kid Blush

Call for Entries: Name My Kids

The Youth Are Quick and True

Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall

Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch

The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest

Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head

How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline

Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors

Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour

How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon

Winnie the (drunken) Pooh

The Earth Quakes

Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm

Illiterate at 26

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face

Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question

Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.

The Young Boxers

Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)

Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Red Pen Draws Dog Blood · 21 February 05

My Japanese students write wonderfully cute test essays. This one arrived while I was covering a pile of fresh tests in red ink.

This dog’s picture is an important picture. This dog is my family. Her name is Jenni [1] . Jenni is (a) cute dog.

Not a bad start.

Sometimes my mother Jenni and I went to sea by car.

Out came the red pen.

Everyday I was very happy.

Changing tenses in the middle of a passage… a common second language mistake. But one I cannot allow to stand.

The pen’s turn to leak it’s crimson fury.

I mark the paper up, changing every verb to the present tense. All in the name of education. I arrive at the end…

But she was died. I’m very sad. Cry with sad.

And I realize this is not a normal grammar situation. In her memory the pet “is”, in reality it “was”...

Her dog is dead, and my pen just bled all over her little eulogy.

The essay is lovely; It is the grader that is grotesque.

They should really put erasers on these things.

[1] dogname changed to protect, um, I dunno. It just seemed weird to actually put the dead dog’s name on the web.

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  1. It is OK. We all learn to write by throwing our soul onto the page, and then having somebody else read it.
    Even if that somebody has a penchant for red decorations.
    Camilo    1415 days ago    #

  2. hahaha! Revenge of the second-language-english speaker!!!
    Oh Ho0o!    1412 days ago    #

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