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saleem reshamwla
who is fresh of the boat (that circled the globe).

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Kid Bronchitis and the Bad Medicine · 13 March 05

Hey kids, guess who has bronchitis? Um, okay, maybe you’re right, but I have no way of knowing if Mandy Moore has bronchitis or not.

I was actually trying to get you to guess “the author”, silly.

Japan: We Wear Masks to Protect the Innocent
(from the cameraphone)

If you squint, you can see that I’m wearing a surgical mask.

Here in Japan, when we get contagiously sick we wear sterile nylon on our faces. It help us keep our bacteria to ourselves.

Altruism. It’s a beautiful thing. And a holy-I-scare-the-crap-out-of-myself-when-I-walk-by-a-mirror thing.

But let’s move beyond appearances, friends. Let’s move on to side-effects. The doctor gave me a strong prescription because, he said, my blood oxygen was low.

Japan: The side-effects affect me
(click picture for more details)

Above you see the cargo-pocketful of goods provided to me by my local pharmacist.

The aforementioned mask, a pack of antibiotics, a pack of painkillers, a couple sacks of not-delicious white powder, and a sticker. Yes, a sticker.

(You put the sticker on your chest, and it leaks medicine into your skin that helps your lungs expand more fully.)

When the pharmacist gave me all of the above, he said lots and lots of things. Very fast. In Japanese.

I understood the word “side-effect” (a loan word), but not much of what he said afterward.

I asked him to repeat more slowly.

The second time around, he pointed to his hand and let it shake like a junkie’s in an after-school special. This, I gathered, was one of many side effects.

Of the rest of the side effects he mentioned, the only other ones I understood were stomach aches from the pills and powder and “doki doki” from the sticker.

“Doki doki” is Japanese onomatapeia that can translate as “fear”, “nervousness”, “excitement” or, um, “thumpa-thumpa” (is that what American pounding hearts sound like?).

I’ve dutifully taken almost all the drugs.

Once I had dry heaves. And I’ve lost my balance a couple times. But it’s the sticker that’s scared me most.

Twice I’ve sat up really fast in my sleep and before I know it I’ve ripped the thing off my chest and flung it somewhere.

When I tried to remember what woke me up, it both times it seemed like it was because my heartbeat was so loud that it scared me awake.

Not in the “gosh, my heartbeat is so loud and that doesn’t seem safe”-sense, but in the “dear god, what is that infernal banging”-sense.

Rad, ne?

Positive sidenote:
When you’re wearing a surgical mask you don’t have to worry about trimming your mustache to look sharp for the ladies!

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  1. GET BETTER
    — DMAC    2520 days ago    #

  2. Oh man – non-invasive topical drug transferral rocks! I need to get me some of those stickers – I haven’t heard my own heart beat in a while…
    — Onika    2520 days ago    #

  3. The asians seem to be big on the sticker—I got some stickers in Cupertino CA (the city’s demographics are 70% asian) for muscle pain. When applied, unnatural forces emmited heat from this little sticker…felt like i put my arm on the burner in the kitchen. To my suprise, there was no Hello Kitty version of the sticker.
    — ayman    2520 days ago    #

  4. I often use the “im sick” surgical disguise in lieu of proper moustache maintenance. And, as tiny scissors are now potential WMDs, one must always be prepared to go without a proper trim when intense scrutiny of carry-on dop kits yields “arimasen” type results.
    more sweet japanese onomatapeia:
    “waku waku” is the excited sound of a chicken flapping its wings, often said in accompaniment with descriptive physical movements
    — GodTrilla 3000    2519 days ago    #

  5. Altruism really is a glorious thing, though you have figure that it doesn’t work in some climates, especially ones with a high degree of precipitation and humidly. Think about how god-awful it must be to rock a mask as your sweating, combined with the moisture that’d gather in the max as you exhaled, due to any form of respiratory infection. Would it cause a Fungus/Bacteria of Doom to grow around your mouth? Would it come back the next time your immune system was lowered? Would it be possible to pass it on to others?

    Granted, I’ve never worn such a mask so you could have lovely gaps on the sides to bring in cooling air…wouldn’t that hinder conducive attempts at altruism though?

    Happy thoughts and such forever.
    — Mel    2518 days ago    #

  6. Does the mask come in all black?
    — caleb    2518 days ago    #

  7. Onika: If I didn’t known any better, I might guess you were being subtly poetic (“I haven’t heard my own heart beat in awhile…”)

    Will: You must share with me your mustache secrets.

    Ayman: I totally wish my sticker had some kind of cartoon figure. Like Ampan man (“Breadman”). Kids love him.

    Mel: It IS crazy humid here in summer… I’ve never had to wear one then. Your fungus theory scares me. I bet people here would still altruistically wear them even if it meant occasional, you know, death. That just makes it more altruistic, right?

    Caleb: Dude, we gotta find some black masks.
    — saleem    2517 days ago    #

  8. Dude, my fungus theory scares even me. I spent much of the night dreaming up new fungus scenarios against my will.

    Never wearing a mask,
    — Mel    2517 days ago    #

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