Kid Ethnic: Mixed-Race Adventures in Japan: Ornery White Guy and the Tokyo Capsule Hotel

Ornery White Guy and the Tokyo Capsule Hotel · 7 April 05

Early one Sunday morning, someone grabs your toe. You sit up and look down the length of your sleeping pod.

Who’s grabbing your toe?

Why, it’s Ornery White Guy.

Ornery White Guy and My Big Toe
(click photo to enlarge)

‘Aw, man, Ornery White Guy, why’d ya have to grab my toe? What time is it anyway? Ooh, I know, I’ll check my watch!’

You lift your left arm toward your capsule’s ceiling. But:

Capsule Hotel, Tokyo
(click photo to enlarge)

Oh, that’s right. You replaced your watch with a plastic band that identifies your capsule number and holds your capsule key.

Capsule key, capsule number… Where are you again? Ah, yes. The Century Capsule Hotel and Sauna of Tokyo’s Ueno district, where you pay $36 bucks a night for a clean robe and towel combo, entrance to a public bath (no cameras allowed) and a slot in a radioactive man-size bee’s dream home.

The Century Capsule Hotel, Tokyo, Japan
(click photo to enlarge)

It’s just you and a bunch of old, half-drunk salarymen. And some ornery white guy.

But don’t let that get you down. There’s enough room for you to sit up and smile. Trust me.

The Skinny Enthusiastic Young Encapsulated Tan Gentleman
(click photo to enlarge)

You can still be happy here.

FOOTNOTE: Why, you may ask, is that particular white guy so ornery? Well, maybe it’s because he’s about 6’1”. And the capsule’s about 6’2”.

Which, given the need for a pillow, leaves not so much room for stretching out. Be warned.

And, incidentally, means he might be likely to roll into the side of his capsule rather suddenly, occasionally startling the tan encapsulated gentleman in the capsule to his right.

(Details on the Century Capsule Hotel can be found in this extremely sketchy guide to Tokyo’s weird/darkside. A hilarious, useful, and not so family-friendly read.)

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I recognize that ornery white guy… Its good to know what hotel not to stay in should I visit Japan.
— another envious Protestant 1371 days ago #
EL POO IS IN JAPAN? Angelic White and Doo Doo Brown reunited in crazy hotel capsules land. All is right with the world.

Keep grabbing those piggies Poo.
— Roo 1370 days ago #
I’m suddenly madly in love with Saleem and OWG at the same time! Too bad they both live in foreign countries.
— The Ferg 1370 days ago #
Why didn’t you put the “plastic band that identifies your capsule number and holds your capsule key” on the other wrist?

Its scary just how excited the “peace” guy looks.
— Glen 1370 days ago #
Hey kidethnic,
Recommendations;
sell kidethnic merchandise featuring the sketch and banner from your home page.
Also, have a shave and grow the hair back. I know having long hair is troublesome and can get boring, but remember the crap stage u go through every time u grow it back!
— Glen 1370 days ago #
hey guys – i love imagining you rocking sleeping capsules all over japan. keep the photos coming… they’re making me smile and smile and smile. big hugs from one NC exile to two more.
— maggie 1369 days ago #
So – is that little door just a rolled up cloth or does the coffin provide more security…perhaps an accordian gate like infront of a pawn shop….
— ayman 1369 days ago #
What kinda merchandise you lookin’ for, Glen? Got suggestions? That would be a hilarious side-project.

I destroyed the original Kid Ethnic banner immediately after scanning it. Because of, um, I dunno, artistic, um, conflagritegritation. Yeah, that’s it, artistic conflagritegritation.

Gotta stay true to stay true to artistic conflagritegritation.

The little rolled door is all the security one gets, Ayman. No worries, though. Your hotel-mates are mostly too worn out to wake up and bother ya.

ANP: I think you do know that guy. Maggie, I'll see if I can find some more pics for ya. Alas, Roo, El Poo has left. Ferg, looks like you’ll just have to foreignify yourself if you’d like to say hello.

Your friend,
— saleem 1367 days ago #
Oh, the beard is now gone. Chronology here in KidEthnicland is might be a little not chronological for the next week (catching up on posts).

Dunno if I can grow the hair back. Shaving it off makes life so… easy.
— saleem 1367 days ago #
there you are again, a few seconds ago. rad.
— andy 1366 days ago #
have to admit i’m getting p***ed off with my hair situation.

Check out savetoby.com its one of the best marketing ideas i’ve come across. The owner of the site is selling merchandise through a company called cafepress or something similar. I bought a t-shirt on novelty value alone and think that i’d have to get a whole heap of kidethnic stuff if you end up doing anything.

Maybe a business plan where i take care of all the merchandising for you? Say 50%? Just playing. Have a look, it’d be wicked to walk down the street and see people wearing a kidethnic baseball cap!
— Glen 1366 days ago #
I would totally buy a kidethnic t-shirt. It will be my first step to foreignification, Saleem. That’s a funny word.
— Sarah Ferg 1363 days ago #

Japanese Television Loves You | Mail Saleem Stickers and Receive a Stupid Song!