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FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland

Tokyo Silence

I'm Oriented

Tilting Towards Kumamoto

Fish Heads and Public Nudity

Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike

And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair

I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings

Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball

Japanese Communists are Cuddly

Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!

I Scare Small Children

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.

Typhoons Will Not Stop Me

The Sun Also Sets

Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead

CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.

Watch the Tan Kid Blush

Call for Entries: Name My Kids

The Youth Are Quick and True

Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall

Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch

The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest

Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head

How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline

Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors

Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour

How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon

Winnie the (drunken) Pooh

The Earth Quakes

Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm

Illiterate at 26

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face

Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question

Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.

The Young Boxers

Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)

Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

Powdered Sake in Outer Space · 7 May 05

[The following dialogue was translated, to the best of my memory and ability, to English from the Japanglish mix we were actually speaking]

The red-faced man leaned in close.

“Now I will tell you a wonderful thing.”

My curiousity, always easily-piqued, was piqued.

“They once made powdered sake.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it was a powder, and it became sake. It was wonderful. But the Japanese did not like the technology. So now it’s hard to find.””

“Wait, you add water, and it made sake?”

“Yes!” His smile grew.

“Was it expensive?”

“No! But the Japanese didn’t like it! They didn’t like the technology! So it’s hard to find!”

You could tell he still couldn’t believe his countrymen’s taste.

“You could bring it anywhere!”

“Wow, anywhere…” I said. His eyes widened.

“We could go to OUTER SPACE and make sake! Amazing! IN OUTER SPACE! Or on the top of a cold mountain! We could go to the TOP OF A COLD MOUNTAIN and MAKE SAKE!”

“Hmmm…” I said.

He looked at my eyes, trying to see if I shared his vision of what the world could be.

“On top of a mountain, making a picnic. And sake!” he said.

He paused and broke out laughing. “We could make sake UNDER THE OCEAN! IN THE SEA!”

“Woah.” It was, I had to admit, an unusual idea, this under-sea sake-making.

“I think it could be a great business in America. American people would like it. You should introduce it there. You could make a lot of money.”

A man across the table inquired as to what we were talking about. The red-faced man explained in rapid Japanese.

“Yes,” the man across the table said. “You should bring that to America.”

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  1. The whole ‘just add water’ logic in making an alcoholic beverage, confuses me. Yet, strangely, I would be more than willing to try to finance bringing this to America.

    Keith
    another envious Protestant    1518 days ago    #

  2. this is absolutely hysterical! part of me is laughing, the other part is a bit sad that this japanese man automatically thought america was the only market for a “just add water” alcohol…
    alexandra    1518 days ago    #

  3. Ah, but all the truest things make you laugh then cry. Maybe we just need a psuedo-hipster name…

    Hmmmm.... Is America’s post-Kool-Aid-powder generation primed for the Sake Dust switch?

    Logo designers and investors welcome. Bring it on, kids.

    Your friend,
    Saleem
    saleem    1516 days ago    #

  4. The sake bath requires nothing more than taking a daily hot bath with sake added – you just let the sake and the natural pressure of the water do the work to stimulate internal organs. Sake helps the heat of the water penetrate into the body. Benefits include facilitating the absorption of healthy Ki, cleansing the pores and softening the skin. A special form of powdered sake is available for those who travel or cannot readily obtain large quantities of sake.
    sake bather    1513 days ago    #

  5. okay, i’m sold. having had both warm and room temperature sake at a heavily overpriced Japanese reataurant in the heart of London’s Mayfair, i want sake readily available, just incase i should decide that my glass of water in the middle of the night or my bath water just isn’t potent enough! Powdered sake must be brought to britain in abundance!!!!
    Glen    1511 days ago    #

  6. After a small marketing session:

    SakeStix (Big tobacco route) Package the magic dust in pixistix containter, will mix in the mouth…the ultimate sake one hitter for the kids.

    SakeDrop: (Technology) Little insta-dissolve pill to drop in soda cans—giving you that sake wine cooler with your favorite caffinated bubbly beverage.

    SakeShake: (Health Buffs) Mix the sake sand with some spirutin protien powder, perhaps some Ginko and a touch of St. Johns Wort for the added good feelings. Your sakeshake will leave you feeling happy, refreshed, recharged, and just a little tipsy to keep the chorestrol levels at bay.

    HotSake: (Transform the American Japanese market) Mix wasabi powder with the sake powder. Call it ‘HotSake’. The rest writes itself.
    ayman    1511 days ago    #

  7. sakebather: It sounds way more interesting than the last 27 varieties of Bath and Body mango bath powders we siblings bought for my momma. Quality.

    Ayman: That’s the kind of work and dedication that I like to see.
    saleem    1509 days ago    #

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