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A weekly column about Japan for Glimpse.org.

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I wrote and recorded this for you. Because you need a song about alpacas, don’t you?

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KID ETHNIC IS WRITTEN BY:

saleem
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FROM THE START:
The Quarter-Japanese Kid hits up the homeland

Tokyo Silence

I'm Oriented

Tilting Towards Kumamoto

Fish Heads and Public Nudity

Halfie the Half-blood falls off his bike

And furthermore: Halfie the Half-blood Breaks a Chair

I Don't Know if I Like Pippi Longstalkings

Tanboy Eats Fish Eyeball

Japanese Communists are Cuddly

Test Your Halfblood Knowledge!

I Scare Small Children

It Was Like a Cuteworld Abby Road

Today's Post Contains Bees. And Profanity.

Typhoons Will Not Stop Me

The Sun Also Sets

Quick Note: Saleem is Not Dead

CORRECTION: Typhoons Scare Me. Lots.

Watch the Tan Kid Blush

Call for Entries: Name My Kids

The Youth Are Quick and True

Open Letter: To the Breaker at City Hall

Halfie Gets a Verbal Sucker Punch

The Kumamoto Drunken Horse Fest

Japanese Houses Hate Halfie's Head

How to Start Your Japanese Rock Band

Halfie's Personal Dignity on Decline

Japanese Sports Day: I Train Young Warriors

Theory: Three Strange Occurences Per Hour

How to Win an iPod While Dressed as a Typhoon

Winnie the (drunken) Pooh

The Earth Quakes

Collecting Japanese Salmon Sperm

Illiterate at 26

Japan's Children Ignore Homeboy's Toothless Face

Japanese Genius Boy Answers Your Question

Our Students Have Respect . For Nelly.

The Young Boxers

Dear 27% of America (Kid Ethnic Registers)

Please Do Not Attempt to Step to My Japanese Rock Band

The Nihilist Who Knew What's Up · 4 July 05

I play a game with my first-year kids. It’s called “The Row Game”. It’s simple, and common in ESL classes.

  1. You make a row of kids stand up.
  2. You ask a question.
  3. First kid to raise their hand and answer correctly gets to sit down.
  4. And so on.

It gets quite competitive. You’d be amazed at a human being’s desire to not stand up.

I try to mix easy question in with the hard ones. Keeps things poppin’.

So, after “What was the score of last week’s Brazil vs. Japan game?” or “Who is the happiest yellow Pokemon?” they get “How are you?” or “Are you sleepy?”.

That’s the game we were playing, and the kids were into it.

I pretended to start a complex question but interrupted myself by sudenly shouting an easy one. Such is my wont.

”... so then I want you to try to—- WHAT’S UP!?” I said.

A tall girl in the middle of the row jumped. Twice. Fast.

Her hand waved. She squeaked a little. I pointed at her.

She tilted her head back. Her mouth opened wide.

“I AM NOTHING!” she yelled.

The room was quiet.

She smiled and looked around. A brief conference was held among her classmates. A decision was reached. They clapped their approval.

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  1. Well, I think I’ve finally read all of your blog. Now, maybe I can finally get some work done! I’ve shared your humor with all my friends, and they all agree. Once we could see again (wiping away the tears from the laughter), we truly enjoyed your experiences being relayed in such a humorous manner. Keep up the posting man! Take care.
    Ben    1427 days ago    #

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